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Health & Fitness

The All-Encompassing Father

Having one role model in your life is a gift to be treasured, having many is a gift to shared.

Short of physically and mentally debilitating disease and injury, I have to believe that one of the nastiest of life experiences is to grow up without exposure to positive male influences. 

In my life, I have had dozens.  Some I had sought out and others were provided by nature.  It's a fortunate reality about living in a white, middle-class culture—that as long as you fit those prerequisites, seemingly no matter how many times you mess up, there is almost always someone there to help you rebound.  As Warren Buffet once famously said, in that way, "I am part of the lucky sperm club."

In the abstract, my first father is the culture I was born into.  Never in the history of the human race have we had it so good.  The culture of America - our Constitution, and our progressive freedoms - are the result of a fatherhood that only Americans will ever truly know, and many will never fully appreciate.

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But closer to home, first and foremost is my biological father.  He provided me with a foundation of self-reliance and and the benefits of hard work.  He has always loved me, and he gave me an early start in athletics; especially baseball.  

My step-father has shown me the value of a steady and reliable hand.  The best a boy could ever ask for, and my grandfather provided me a consistent and loving ear, always smiling at my tall tales and misguided hijinks.  My father-in-law taught me unrelenting love and tolerance, as well as the psychological benefits of a good laugh.

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My many uncles taught me many things.  I have one uncle who never flinches when I need assistance around the house, and another who involved me in his life just enough to show my cousin and I how pleasurable an epistemological life full of wonder can be.  I have uncles who have taught me how to fish, how to make my own lures, how to fake a stomachache to get out of mowing their lawn, how to run a business, how to drop whatever you are doing when someone you care for needs assistance, how to shoot a gun, how to appreciate the value and beauty of the opposite sex, and of course, how to BBQ.

Through marriage I have an uncle who introduced me into a world of liberalism and intrigue.  With his presence and inquisitive ear, he helped pull me through a very dark time in my life.  One that I may not have made it through without him - at least not in any productive sense of making it through.

Outside of my family, I have had father-figures introduce and guide me into the realms of music, religion, politics, the benefits of conservatism, tolerance, betrayal, and acceptance. 

With my many fathers in Rotary, I learned about "Service Above Self" and the ideal of doing good for the sake of it, without concern for reward and personal gain.  Most of all, I learned the benefits of a lifetime of friendship.

All of these influences have combined in a way to provide me a sort of all-encompassing father, a gift that most people would never even think to ask for unless they had experienced it themselves.  No matter how many times I have given up on life, or thrown myself into the "lost cause" column, some combination of one or all of these fathers are there to pull me through.

In the end, the real beneficiaries of my many fathers are my children.  It is true that there is a clear biological, genetic path resulting in their heritage, but it is also true that there is an umbrella of many grandfathers watching over them.  

If I have ever accomplished anything to date, it is simply that I have taken the love that so many have shown me in my life and passed it on to my children.  For all they know, I am their one and only dad, but before I leave this world, I will make sure they know of and about every single one of their grandfathers.

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