Relationships grow at 60 MPH

The weather lately has been incredible! After weeks of seemingly unending 100-degree temperatures, the pleasant days and cooler nights have been a welcome relief.

Cool, fall weather is always a great time for riding my motorcycle. I’ve been riding since 1985 and seem to enjoy it more now than when I was younger. Safety is always a concern, but if you’ve ever spent any time on one, you know how exhilarating it can be cruising down the road on a sunny day with 70 degree wind blowing on your face.

On Labor Day, my daughter and I decided to use the combination of great weather and some free time to make an afternoon road trip a reality. We had some family activities to attend to in the morning, but the afternoon was ours and she also likes to take advantage of any opportunity to spend time together on the motorcycle.

Of my two children, my daughter has always been more of a daredevil. She’s 25 now and I can still remember when she first asked for a dirt bike! Her mother refused the request, but it never kept her from finding other outlets for her adventurous spirit.

I’d been looking for a chance to spend some time with her. Both of my kids are busy with school or jobs or both and as their schedules have grown increasingly busy, the time we can spend together has become more precious.

I realized that an offer of a motorcycle ride and lunch was not one that she was likely to pass up. It's funny how the maturity of our children is marked by how they like to spend their time. When my kids were small, there were many occasions when I was not able to spend time with them due to work and other scheduling conflicts. Now it seems their time is as precious as I thought mine was and I have to make an appointment to grab a few moments with them. The fact that she works a job and is completing her master’s degree only makes me more anxious for her company.

Our trip consisted of a ride down Highway 61 through the countryside to St. Genevieve where we enjoyed lunch. We met a lot of other riders enjoying the day also.

So what’s the point? Simply to remind myself and all of you that the time we spend with our children is precious. One-on-one with your kids takes your parental relationship to the next level. It communicates to them that they are an integral part of your life and that their growth is what you are all about. It can be part of the foundation that will help them create their own moral, ethical and spiritual standards and set them on the road to defining their own success. The importance of these same ideas are validated as part of the character education program begun in the St.Louis metro area by the Cooperating School Districts.

I abhor the idea of the “helicopter” parent; the latest term used to describe parents who hover over their kid’s lives in an attempt to control every move they make. I’ve witnessed firsthand the damage that kind of control can do and how such behavior can create an insecure and demanding child-adult.

But time spent with our next generation, showing them that their ideas and actions can have value, purpose, and meaning is an investment that pays dividends all their lives. I’ve watched as my children have walked out their values in action and relationships. And I know that the opportunities they’ve had to influence other people’s life decisions have not been through demanding agreement with their opinions. It’s been through sharing their own stories of discovery and growth that has meant the most to their peers.

So take the time to hang with the younger folks. What you choose to share with them can be life affirming. How they choose to use it can be life changing. And it’s even better if it involves riding a motorcycle.